I Would

The truth is , God is the same , no matter what your religion or belief . He is one . Good and evil , there is a part of both within us all . we have a mind in order to wage that war within ourselves . That war is a micro-image of every great atrocity ever fought in civilization ,including our September 11th. Those of us in prison , we fight the same war as you . And , like you , sometimes we loose the war completely . Sometimes we loose many battles until we overcome our greatest enemy , which is ourselves , and win that war . We defeat the terrorist within and embrace humanity , which is only a larger part of the whole If God is one , we are one , also.

You , in the big world , I have wept for you , now weep for me because in prison I have never been allowed to draw a free breath . My mind , my voice , my desires have always been locked in a prison cellphone. I cannot walk any farther then my cell door if I am alone . I will never be allowed to speak from the voice of my heart…nor laugh…nor sing if a guard is near . I cannot touch another person , even slightly . I cannot disobey . I cannot argue, even when I am right . I cannot eat a nutritious , home cooked meal . I am denied the colors of a rainbow because coolers allow me to feel . I must not be allowed to learn true education only mental conditioning and forced propaganda.

Remember the toys from childhood ? I am a toy obey…work…submit. What is joy ? where is happiness ? People in the big world , I have seen the magical look in your eyes and the bounce in your step from the T.V. and magazines . I see you walk where you wish and speak out about pain and injustice . I see you live and feel . How wonderful to be able to do that without the fear of retaliation and punishment . I see you go to school , the park , ride away non a horse and I see you outside at night looking up to the stars . I look up and see only rotting paint chips on the ceiling . I breathe not from fresh air but from the stench of sweat , urine , blood and stagnant filth left too many years.

I have been molded into a lump that is not supposed to feel . My emotions have been controlled and enslaved since the time cuffs first bit into the flesh of my wrists and ankles . Shame…chains…naked soul…forbidden…shame , Shame , SHAME !

Even my body is not my own . my body exists to work and obey . I cannot use my body to create joy nor pleasure . If I do , the fear of punishment hangs thick and the madness of thought that it should even be construed as punishable ! My body is not mine . It is a product of others and I must do whatever they wish .

Do you feel as though you are trapped ? But there is more people , much more and I feel the continuous pain of it until I can no longer feel pain . I see you on T.V. and I read of you in books and you have shown me something so very beautiful in this world , should I not long for it also ? You men and women , have you not felt love ? You did You felt it , you lived it and you shall again . I want to feel , to touch and to live life . I want for someone to look at me with love because I am lovable . I want for someone to look at me as a human being with my own ideas , feelings and life because I am human.

I am a beautiful person with a fierce love for humanity , but I was born into a fatalistic cycle that had no place for such a love to express itself and now I am forbidden , cursed among all things . I would laugh , I would love , I would embrace life and I would cry until all the pain in the world was gone.

I would